Carpe Diem

Ok, so I made a fairly big decision this year considering the past 11 years. I am now officially off the market as I decided to be in a relationship with someone I barely know. Yep, I've only met him June of this year and come November, we are already together.
Anyway, I'm only talking about this in my blog because I dont make facebook an online diary like all the lame drama queens in my news feed.
A lot of people who know us both are surprised with how fast things happened. Even I am still trying to absorb it all in. Yes, I would admit, this is a rash decision on my part.
Background: he was still in a relationship when we met. Girlfriend was jealous of me for some unknown reason, woman's intuition according to her. They broke up (not because of me). Guy and I hang out a few times, asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. Now, we're together all the time except when we're at work.
There are different reactions from everyone. Most are just happy that I finally ended my 11-year streak of singlehood. But our common friends are a bit concerned for me.
Ok, I will admit, it was a rash decision on my part. Not something I have really thought about. It was something spontaneous. Not the typical thing I do.
Between the two of us, we don't really have a problem that I know of except for the usual bickering and PMS mood swings. However, whenever I hear from people who knew him before I met him, I always sense a hint of suspicion of him and concern for me.
Honestly, I appreciate it all. I know what I have and what I am doing right now is not what most people expect of me. I know some people think that this is his rebound relationship. There are some pretty big issues about him and honestly, I dont think his past relationship has been totally settled.
However, here is what I have to say about it.
Let me be. If this is a mistake, I'll find out soon enough. But what if it's not?
I have my family to back me up in a worst case scenario, anyway, what's the worst thing that can happen?
A broken heart? That can heal.
Being single again? Been there, enjoyed that.
Be a single mom? That's been my dream since high school. LOL...i can afford to raise a child on my own.
But...what if, just what if...
What if it's all for real and I did not stay just because of what other people are saying?
What if this is the love story that I am supposed to have but I ran away from it?
No. I would not decide based on fear.
I rest my case.

P.S.
Yes, I'm in love :)

BOOK REVIEW: Before Ever After

Shelley is a widow for three years. She's coping up with the loss of her husband until one day, a guy came to her door who looks very similar to her husband, Max. He said he is Paolo and that Max is his grandfather. It was too ridiculous to believe but Paolo has made a good case and she is almost convinced that there is something her husband did not tell her. They decided to go on a quest to find Max, and to find the answer to their questions. How can her husband, who is the same age as her (30's) be a grandfather to someone almost her age. 

This is a feel good book. I bought it because the author is a Filipina. I did not have much expectations but I was surprised that I got hooked with the story. The mystery around Max and the tidbits of history he is sharing are things that made it hard to put down the book. Their love story is also very fascinating. I love that there is no third party to deal with. Their own personal issues are what hindered them (at least at first) from getting together. Shelley also has this need to run away from love that I was able to relate to. 

Overall, I love this book. It is so simple and intriguing at the same time. And this is coming from someone who has read three love story books already and not liking any single one of them. 

DEFINE BEAUTY

I saw this article in Yahoo Philippines today. It is about three Filipino celebrities and their beauty "flaws". First was Grace Lee, who said she was 180 lbs. before and had flabby arms. Ok, I would have to agree that is a flaw but only because it is not healthy. Her remedy though was to have a cosmetic procedure done to her. It's fine, since she has the money. I would still prefer that she exercise though. 

Second was Jennelyn Mercado. Her flaw? She is dark. Now, this is something I would react on. A lot of Filipinas already had insecurity complex just because of the skin color so they put cancerous chemicals on their bodies. 

Third was Phoemela Barranda. Her flaw was her breasts were small so she had breast implants. 

I know that commercialism is in play for this article but don't we have enough exposure to things that would make us insecure already? 

If there is any girl who is insecure who might happen to read this right now, this is what I want to say: Do not believe the media. Everyone is beautiful. Don't overspend on things just to change how you look like. To be beautiful, you have to define beauty. Accept what you have and let that be your definition of beauty, then you don't have to jealous of what other people have that you don't. 

One lady in the Philippine showbiz that I really like is Alessandra de Rossi. She is dark skinned, and flat chested. But she is one of the most beautiful girls for me. Not just because of how she looks but because of what she is as a person. She is independent, she sings, she's smart. Now, that is what a beautiful person for me is like. 

Invest more in your mind. Always remember, the brain is the sexiest part of the body. Spend for it. Also, be a more genuine person. Be more loving and caring. Always smile. Everyone is pretty when smiling. Be interesting. 

* i just had to react. i'm already sleepy so sorry if the thoughts don't flow as smooth as required.

GRATITUDE POST

I know this is a week late but I am so grateful for the past year. I've learned and experienced a lot of things and I am just excited for what God has to give me this coming year.
This is probably the most celebration I have ever done in my life. A full weekend birthday celebration with different groups of people plus a post celebration on the sea last night. I was able to go fishing again after 2 years! yey! plus, I caught two fishes, one medium sized and one big sized. I dont have a picture catching the big fish though.

the good year that was :)

THINSPIRATION Part 2

i'm at the extreme right of the photo. don't know if i was just really close to the camera or if i was really that fat then. 

with my sister. she's already a mom.

see my belly? yup. see what i'm doing? munching.

with my batchmates. both are moms already. 

See how I looked like several months back? Not so flattering right? But yep, I was able to lose those flabs.

Just a few tips:

1. Before you start your diet, start eating a smaller amount of food already so you would not feel starved when you do a more "hardcore" diet.

2. Accept that you are on a diet. Of course, you would be teased about going on a diet but know for a fact that they are teasing you because deep inside, they want to do what you are doing but they don't have the courage to accept it.

3. Exercise. Losing weight is not enough. You would just lose body mass but once you start eating again, it would just fill up. It is best to burn the fats and develop muscles. (Muscles burn your fats even when you are resting.)

4. Hydrate. Drink lots and lots of water. It helps boost your metabolism, and you would feel less hunger.

5. Avoid meat. That's what made my stomach flatter. For your protein needs, eat nuts and tofu. :)

6. Have a weighing scale in your room and be brave enough to step on it everyday.

7. Do not fall into the defense mechanism of saying, "i want to lose weight but i'm too lazy to exercise. / I want to lose weight but it feels good to eat." The more you say that, the more you would believe that. It is just your defense for being fat. Truth is, you are scared to put in effort and not get your desired result. (go back to number 2.)

That is all I can think of for now. Here's to you getting that SEXY body you've always wanted! :)

THINSPIRATION

I've been getting compliments on my "aura" and how I lost weight lately and have been asked how I did it. I tell everything I did because it feels good to go back to the healthy weight. I am typing this entry now hoping to inspire more people to lose the unhealthy weight.

I've been skinny all my life and I had a crazy metabolism when I was younger. I can eat like a farmer and not gain weight at all. I can attribute it also to my active lifestyle. I was never in one place at a time. I was so kiti kiti. Well, things change. My metabolism was not as good as it was before and I am now working in an office. It means I sit the whole day, in front of a computer. I still ate the same amount of food. After a year, I realized that my clothes don't look good on me anymore.

Anyway, long story short, I gained weight. When I went for a vacation a few months ago, my cousin came back from the States and she fed us with a lot of food. I ate everything she offered (and more). I went to our province after and the first time my dad saw me, I saw the shock on his face. That was my cue to lose weight.

I told my mom I would be going on a diet the next day. She asked me what kind of diet. I told her, "General Motors Diet." No, the meals don't include screws and grease. Since she wanted to lose weight as well, we googled it and decided that we would do it together. While I was on it, she had a "Walk Away Pounds" video and made me do it. It is a 30-minute light brisk-walking exercise.

The diet was a torture for me the first couple of days. I felt nauseous in the afternoon but the website said it is to be expected. On the fourth day, it was easier. After completing the one week diet, my weight loss was quite noticeable but not as much as I expected. The good thing about it though was my appetite was lessened. I only eat the right amount of food now without feeling deprived.

I continued to eat a small portion of food without starving myself when I got back here in Palau. I called my weight loss program, "The Hunger Games". I exercised everyday for at least 30 minutes. My first week here in Palau, I felt like my efforts were not working. On the second week, all of a sudden, I was in my ideal weight already. I had to maintain the weight because my goal was healthy weight, not anorexic. Now, I eat rice everyday. I can have snacks, even ice cream and cake every once in a while. I don't exercise everyday anymore (not really good, too busy) but I try to play badminton three times a week.

It took me approximately 7 weeks to get to my desired body. I only needed to lose 10 lbs. (I already lost 12). My point is: you don't lose it overnight. Don't give up if you feel like your efforts don't yield the results you want. It will come, just stay focused.

If you would like to ask me again how I lost weight, it's simple: DIET AND EXERCISE (and have gorgeous looking people around you all the time to keep you inspired or look at your old photos when you have the body you want to have now.)

PERSONAL SOUNDTRACK

Music is a big part of my life. No, I am not a talented musician, can't play any instrument, can't sing. But I really love music. It perks me up, it depresses me, it makes me dance, it makes me sleep, it helps me cope. I would like to share my life's soundtracks:


LIFE IN GENERAL:



1. UNWRITTEN by Natasha Bedingfield - this is my life's anthem. Everytime I feel like I've messed up or my life is going nowhere, I sing this song from memory. My favorite lines:

          "I break traditions, sometimes my tries are outside the line."

          "Today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten."

2. HAND IN MY POCKET by Alanis Morissette - every 90's teenager has one Alanis anthem, I'm sure. I love the contrasts in this song and I can relate to the lyrics a lot.

Favorite lines:

         "And what it all boils down to / is that no one's really got it figured out just yet"

 3. INDEPENDENT WOMEN by Destiny's Child - every time I listen to this song, I feel empowered. Like, I can do anything. It makes me want to buy a car and a house, just so I could complete the checklist of someone independent. 

Favorite lines:

         "The car I'm driving (I bought it), the shoes I'm wearing (I bought it), the house I live in (I bought it),  coz I depend on me."

SPECIFIC INSTANCES:

1. SURVIVOR by Destiny's Child - When I first came to Palau, I messed up, as in big time. I was expecting to use my return ticket by the end of my first month. When I realized they were not going to fire me, I still have to deal with the aftermath of the event. I kept listening to this song and it reassured me that I would be able to make it.

Favorite lines:

        "I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I'm not gonna stop, Imma work harder"

2. LITTLE WONDERS by Rob Thomas - this is a soundtrack of the movie, "Meet the Robinsons". I was very depressed during this time, I did not know if I would ever be able to get back on my feet again. Another career-related event.

Favorite lines:

   

        "Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder / don't you know the hardest part is over"

3. I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO by Lani Hall - after a break up, I could not cry and I really wanted to cry for closure. I had to listen to this song for a whole day for me to feel really depressed until I cried. LOL ...it's weird, I know, most girls would need help to stop crying, I could not even START! 

Favorite line:

       "When from the start maybe we were trying too hard"

ON THE MATTERS OF LOVE:

1. MISS INDEPENDENT by Neyo - I find this song really romantic because this was my issue before.  I CAN'T be clingy or needy no matter how I try. 

   

        "She's got her own thing, that's why I love her"

2. WHEREVER YOU ARE  by Southborder - ok, this is the most sappy and mushy song ever but I'm still a girl. Yes, this is embarrassing to admit but still.

        "Hoping to find its way to you wherever you are"

3. PANALANGIN by Apo Hiking Society - just because. The whole song is so simple yet it is everyone's wish.

        "Panalangin ko sa habang buhay / makapiling ka, makasama ka, yan ang panalangin ko"

FAMILY MEMORIES:

1. BULAKLAK by Viva Hotbabes - we are a family of pastors but during family reunions (when my grandpa was still alive *sniff sniff*) there would ALWAYS be a videoke machine. Imagine them dancing to this song. Hilarity ensues.

2. THIS GUY'S INLOVE WITH YOU PARE by Parokya ni Edgar / BABAE PO AKO by Tuesday Vargas - when they hear these songs playing, they know I have the mic. More hilarity.

3. BUTTERCUP by The Foundations - my cousin's (ate sing) national anthem. LOL. everyone knows it's her signature song.

ON FAITH

1. WOULD YOU LOVE JESUS MORE by Craig and Dean Phillips - I like this song because that is what my goal is, that every person I encounter would love and know Jesus more.

      "But if all I've done in the time we've shared is turn your eyes on me / Then I've failed in what I've been called to do/ There's someone else I want you to see"

2. HE WHO BEGAN A GOOD WORK by Steve Green - a very hopeful song.

      "He who started the work will be able to complete it in you"

3. IN THE HEART OF JESUS from the hymns - everytime I feel disappointed or frustrated, I try to remember this song.

      "In the heart of Jesus, there is love for you / Why should you be lonely /Why for friendship sigh / When the heart of Jesus has a full supply"

See what music does to me? yup, makes me more insane.

LIFE WITHOUT MUSIC IS NOT LIFE AT ALL.

Last Weekend Was So Random

I've been planning to blog about last weekend but I was lazy didn't have time. Tonight, I want to stay up late so I can wake up late tomorrow because I still have to go to the airport tomorrow by midnight so my Sunday would probably end by 3 am. So here goes last weekend:

Friday night, after choir practice, we are supposed to bring Eds home but we decided to eat goto (google it). Just a few steps after we went out, it started to rain. Heavy rain. We still decided to go on so we were walking while raining and I was the only one comfortable. Eds and Ate Ying have to share umbrella and Sib, who is very tall, has to use a really small umbrella. Of course, I did not offer to swap. That's how thoughtful I am.

i think this was wednesday choir practice 

getting some goto funds

goto house (sib, eds, moi)

eds, moi, and goto queen

Come Saturday, we sang a Tagalog song in church which made me worry a little because the congregation might not be able to appreciate it. Thank God, music is a universal language. We never sang the song perfectly during practice as well. But then, prayer works wonders. Actual performance was better than our practice, just the way it should be.

final adjustments and instructions

 Saturday afternoon was a fun time. For several Sabbaths already, we have been going to Malakal area to visit the captured Filipino fishermen. We've been eyeing to go to their boat since day 1 but we never attempted to do it til that day. Long dress and all, I took the jump.

mode of transport

photo op. 

photo op inside a photo...photoception

"hello, my dear subjects...this your queen"

with my crew. chos!

"this is your captain speaking"

From this point on, this would be the portion of Ojhea and her julalays. LOL. I look like a primadonna, thats why.

they're making sure i get down really safely

i'm good

 

I was still trying to be helpful at this point 

primadonna-ing has begun

jane, my most efficient julalay. LOL 

she's still a beauty, no?

I look like I'm barking orders at her 

why are we going so slow, Jane?

"you're not doing it right!"

 On Sunday, we had random fun also. Karen picked us up to hang out at the old airport. When we got home, Kuya Roger, came and we went to Camp Katuu for basketball. They played, we watched. We got bored so we did not stay long.

In my room, we decided to dress up and put on make up. Photo session after but I would rather not post the photos. Wholesome ang image ko. hahahaha...

So there, that sums up that weekend.