GRATEFUL

I am so happy that God has given me another miracle. I did not understand what happened to my day. I slept late last night but I woke up as early as 5:30 am and could not go back to sleep. My mind was blank when I woke up and I tried thinking of anything that might be important that could have disturbed my sleep and I could not think of any. To be awake by 5:30 without the aid of an alarm clock is a miracle in itself. That only happens when I'm in the middle of something important (i.e. audit). This time around, it's a Sabbath day, I'm not going to the office, no news from home, nothing unusual happened. Yet, there I was, trying to get my sleep back, with my empty brain...unsuccessful. I got up about 6:00 am when I gave up on getting more sleep. I did some brisk walking exercise for 30 mins, ate my cereals, took a shower. It was still early since it is just past 7 am.

I browsed the internet, realized I was not prepared for the Sabbath School review so I checked the Sabbath School lesson online. I was ready to go by 8:45 am. I got in church just in time for the service to start.

Then the miracle happened. When the first song was sung, it felt like my mind cleared. It's surreal. It's like the questions I did not know I have were finally asked. My heart's desires were revealed to me. The plans I've laid out for my life seem to have been sanctioned by God. Some questions were answered, some were not. But I felt like I am being led to a direction. I do not have anything to change at the moment. Everything stays as is. I still do not know where I am going but I feel like I am having a "Father Abraham" moment. When he was called out by God, not knowing where he was to go.

For the past 3 months, I have been asking God for this. Honestly, I stopped praying real prayers until two days ago. Now, God is drawing me near to Him again. While the Divine Service was going on, I was only half-listening to the preacher. I was having my own conversation with God. It feels so intimate. It was only God and me and He actually gave me the strength to work on my resolve. I still do not know what the immediate results would be but I am grateful for today's experience. Totally different and less emotional than the other miracles in my life but it is still a miracle, nonetheless.

It's amazing how much he can know a person. He really knows which nerve to touch to get a person's attention. My God is real.

I'm taking the leap of faith!

Letter To a Person I Will Never Have But I Wish I Have

Dear Kuya,

How I wish we grew up together. You can teach me a few things, you know. I wonder how I would be like if you actually existed. I can't imagine the fights we'll have. It would have been cool to have someone to watch NBA with. It could have been your job to protect the younger sisters. You know, I tried my best on that department, I was so good, people assumed I was a lesbian. hahaha (some of them still do until now.)

Imagine the things we could have talked about. I know it would be mostly about girls and you would have teased me no end whenever I like a guy. I could have been your fashion consultant and you could have been mine.

I can imagine me getting jealous of your girlfriend who gets all your attention and I would make schemes for you to notice me. She, in turn, would try to get my vote. I would receive bribes from her and she would bring me shopping maybe.

Don't get me wrong, I love being the eldest among the siblings and have the responsibility of taking care of the younger ones but everytime I see a picture of a girl with a really sweet kuya (Landry Fields), I can't help but be jealous.

Landry Fields and his very, very lucky sister. (sweetest kind of kiss)

i want that hug too!!!

(Photos are from Landry's instagram)

What could it have felt like to be taken care of instead of being the one caring for? How would I have felt if my voice is not the most influential in the house? What kind of sibling rivalry could we have had? Would you look like dad or mom? Are you good in math and spelling? Are you athletic? Could you have taught me to play basketball and boxing? One thing's for sure though, you are a goofball. It runs in the family.

I will never know the answer to those questions because really, there's none. But you know what, God has been so good to me, He never let a season pass without sending me a kuya/brother figure. They've all been kind and sweet to me that the 'being taken care of' aspect is usually filled.

Anyway, I'm proud to say that I am a fairly good ate and kuya at the same time. Calling tough decisions a lot of times and shopping with them siblings. That is the way it's supposed to be. Who knows, maybe I'll find them a really good kuya someday *wink wink*.


Loving you in my dreams,


Yam :)

I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK!

Yes, I'm bringing it! Let the hunger games begin. May the odds be ever be in my favor.

this was me 13 pounds ago (circa 2010)

If I can't...paputian na lang ng kilikili!!! hahahaha

oh di ba? bwahahahaha

To give you an idea how much weight I gained, check this out:

Palau, what have you done to me????

See what I mean? So yeah, all of that happened in two years' time. And yes, I don't always buy clothes. Some clothes from high school and college are still in mint condition (until my youngest sister starts wearing them.hahaha).

There, I volunteer myself for district 13.

BOOK REVIEW: Lumayo Ka Nga Sa Akin by Bob Ong

This is the first book I finished reading while on vacation. Bob Ong has always been one of my favorite authors. His satires on everything Filipino are funny (obviously) and too true. In this book, he had made a "script" for several genres. One for action, one for horror, and one for the general love story or soap opera.

He exposed the idiocies of the plots and stories that almost did not change since the boob tube was introduced in the Philippines. It's not that I did not know this before (there's a reason I don't watch Philippine TV except for news, reality shows, and sports). It's just that he made it really plain and exaggerated for the readers to get the point. I remember in particular one Mara Clara remake episode that was being advertised. The scene was Clara was trying to make Mara eat shrimp knowing that the latter is allergic to it. What did Mara do? She cried, "Clara, waaaaggg!" Too stupid. We all know that is you would say any word in Tagalog that has the letter "A" in it, your mouth would open. She could just have shut her mouth and punched Clara in the face.

I manage to annoy all of my roommates when I watch all of the soap operas on TV because I can't help but comment everytime I see another stupid scene so I stay away from it for the preservation of our relationships. hahaha.

I highly recommend this book to all scriptwriters, moviemakers, and all Filipinos. We spend the most time in front of the TV, make sure your IQ do not drop 10 points everytime.

I'M STILL HERE

Can't believe it's been two months since my last post. I was really intending to document my vacation but then, life offline is a lot more fun than the internets. Yes, I actually have a life when I'm not in Palau. hahaha

I will try be updating this blog with the things that happened the past two months. First, what happened was way different from what was originally planned. My itinerary was all messed up and I had to go with the flow. I ended up with too much activities, I had to choose not to attend in one of the events. Too bad.

Then, when I was about to leave the Philippines, it breaks my heart that my nephew was begging me not to go anymore :'( . I really want to have a job or business close to my family so we can be together everytime there is a special event. Not just see each other once a year.