PERSONAL SOUNDTRACK

Music is a big part of my life. No, I am not a talented musician, can't play any instrument, can't sing. But I really love music. It perks me up, it depresses me, it makes me dance, it makes me sleep, it helps me cope. I would like to share my life's soundtracks:


LIFE IN GENERAL:



1. UNWRITTEN by Natasha Bedingfield - this is my life's anthem. Everytime I feel like I've messed up or my life is going nowhere, I sing this song from memory. My favorite lines:

          "I break traditions, sometimes my tries are outside the line."

          "Today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten."

2. HAND IN MY POCKET by Alanis Morissette - every 90's teenager has one Alanis anthem, I'm sure. I love the contrasts in this song and I can relate to the lyrics a lot.

Favorite lines:

         "And what it all boils down to / is that no one's really got it figured out just yet"

 3. INDEPENDENT WOMEN by Destiny's Child - every time I listen to this song, I feel empowered. Like, I can do anything. It makes me want to buy a car and a house, just so I could complete the checklist of someone independent. 

Favorite lines:

         "The car I'm driving (I bought it), the shoes I'm wearing (I bought it), the house I live in (I bought it),  coz I depend on me."

SPECIFIC INSTANCES:

1. SURVIVOR by Destiny's Child - When I first came to Palau, I messed up, as in big time. I was expecting to use my return ticket by the end of my first month. When I realized they were not going to fire me, I still have to deal with the aftermath of the event. I kept listening to this song and it reassured me that I would be able to make it.

Favorite lines:

        "I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I'm not gonna stop, Imma work harder"

2. LITTLE WONDERS by Rob Thomas - this is a soundtrack of the movie, "Meet the Robinsons". I was very depressed during this time, I did not know if I would ever be able to get back on my feet again. Another career-related event.

Favorite lines:

   

        "Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder / don't you know the hardest part is over"

3. I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO by Lani Hall - after a break up, I could not cry and I really wanted to cry for closure. I had to listen to this song for a whole day for me to feel really depressed until I cried. LOL ...it's weird, I know, most girls would need help to stop crying, I could not even START! 

Favorite line:

       "When from the start maybe we were trying too hard"

ON THE MATTERS OF LOVE:

1. MISS INDEPENDENT by Neyo - I find this song really romantic because this was my issue before.  I CAN'T be clingy or needy no matter how I try. 

   

        "She's got her own thing, that's why I love her"

2. WHEREVER YOU ARE  by Southborder - ok, this is the most sappy and mushy song ever but I'm still a girl. Yes, this is embarrassing to admit but still.

        "Hoping to find its way to you wherever you are"

3. PANALANGIN by Apo Hiking Society - just because. The whole song is so simple yet it is everyone's wish.

        "Panalangin ko sa habang buhay / makapiling ka, makasama ka, yan ang panalangin ko"

FAMILY MEMORIES:

1. BULAKLAK by Viva Hotbabes - we are a family of pastors but during family reunions (when my grandpa was still alive *sniff sniff*) there would ALWAYS be a videoke machine. Imagine them dancing to this song. Hilarity ensues.

2. THIS GUY'S INLOVE WITH YOU PARE by Parokya ni Edgar / BABAE PO AKO by Tuesday Vargas - when they hear these songs playing, they know I have the mic. More hilarity.

3. BUTTERCUP by The Foundations - my cousin's (ate sing) national anthem. LOL. everyone knows it's her signature song.

ON FAITH

1. WOULD YOU LOVE JESUS MORE by Craig and Dean Phillips - I like this song because that is what my goal is, that every person I encounter would love and know Jesus more.

      "But if all I've done in the time we've shared is turn your eyes on me / Then I've failed in what I've been called to do/ There's someone else I want you to see"

2. HE WHO BEGAN A GOOD WORK by Steve Green - a very hopeful song.

      "He who started the work will be able to complete it in you"

3. IN THE HEART OF JESUS from the hymns - everytime I feel disappointed or frustrated, I try to remember this song.

      "In the heart of Jesus, there is love for you / Why should you be lonely /Why for friendship sigh / When the heart of Jesus has a full supply"

See what music does to me? yup, makes me more insane.

LIFE WITHOUT MUSIC IS NOT LIFE AT ALL.

Last Weekend Was So Random

I've been planning to blog about last weekend but I was lazy didn't have time. Tonight, I want to stay up late so I can wake up late tomorrow because I still have to go to the airport tomorrow by midnight so my Sunday would probably end by 3 am. So here goes last weekend:

Friday night, after choir practice, we are supposed to bring Eds home but we decided to eat goto (google it). Just a few steps after we went out, it started to rain. Heavy rain. We still decided to go on so we were walking while raining and I was the only one comfortable. Eds and Ate Ying have to share umbrella and Sib, who is very tall, has to use a really small umbrella. Of course, I did not offer to swap. That's how thoughtful I am.

i think this was wednesday choir practice 

getting some goto funds

goto house (sib, eds, moi)

eds, moi, and goto queen

Come Saturday, we sang a Tagalog song in church which made me worry a little because the congregation might not be able to appreciate it. Thank God, music is a universal language. We never sang the song perfectly during practice as well. But then, prayer works wonders. Actual performance was better than our practice, just the way it should be.

final adjustments and instructions

 Saturday afternoon was a fun time. For several Sabbaths already, we have been going to Malakal area to visit the captured Filipino fishermen. We've been eyeing to go to their boat since day 1 but we never attempted to do it til that day. Long dress and all, I took the jump.

mode of transport

photo op. 

photo op inside a photo...photoception

"hello, my dear subjects...this your queen"

with my crew. chos!

"this is your captain speaking"

From this point on, this would be the portion of Ojhea and her julalays. LOL. I look like a primadonna, thats why.

they're making sure i get down really safely

i'm good

 

I was still trying to be helpful at this point 

primadonna-ing has begun

jane, my most efficient julalay. LOL 

she's still a beauty, no?

I look like I'm barking orders at her 

why are we going so slow, Jane?

"you're not doing it right!"

 On Sunday, we had random fun also. Karen picked us up to hang out at the old airport. When we got home, Kuya Roger, came and we went to Camp Katuu for basketball. They played, we watched. We got bored so we did not stay long.

In my room, we decided to dress up and put on make up. Photo session after but I would rather not post the photos. Wholesome ang image ko. hahahaha...

So there, that sums up that weekend.

GRATEFUL

I am so happy that God has given me another miracle. I did not understand what happened to my day. I slept late last night but I woke up as early as 5:30 am and could not go back to sleep. My mind was blank when I woke up and I tried thinking of anything that might be important that could have disturbed my sleep and I could not think of any. To be awake by 5:30 without the aid of an alarm clock is a miracle in itself. That only happens when I'm in the middle of something important (i.e. audit). This time around, it's a Sabbath day, I'm not going to the office, no news from home, nothing unusual happened. Yet, there I was, trying to get my sleep back, with my empty brain...unsuccessful. I got up about 6:00 am when I gave up on getting more sleep. I did some brisk walking exercise for 30 mins, ate my cereals, took a shower. It was still early since it is just past 7 am.

I browsed the internet, realized I was not prepared for the Sabbath School review so I checked the Sabbath School lesson online. I was ready to go by 8:45 am. I got in church just in time for the service to start.

Then the miracle happened. When the first song was sung, it felt like my mind cleared. It's surreal. It's like the questions I did not know I have were finally asked. My heart's desires were revealed to me. The plans I've laid out for my life seem to have been sanctioned by God. Some questions were answered, some were not. But I felt like I am being led to a direction. I do not have anything to change at the moment. Everything stays as is. I still do not know where I am going but I feel like I am having a "Father Abraham" moment. When he was called out by God, not knowing where he was to go.

For the past 3 months, I have been asking God for this. Honestly, I stopped praying real prayers until two days ago. Now, God is drawing me near to Him again. While the Divine Service was going on, I was only half-listening to the preacher. I was having my own conversation with God. It feels so intimate. It was only God and me and He actually gave me the strength to work on my resolve. I still do not know what the immediate results would be but I am grateful for today's experience. Totally different and less emotional than the other miracles in my life but it is still a miracle, nonetheless.

It's amazing how much he can know a person. He really knows which nerve to touch to get a person's attention. My God is real.

I'm taking the leap of faith!

Letter To a Person I Will Never Have But I Wish I Have

Dear Kuya,

How I wish we grew up together. You can teach me a few things, you know. I wonder how I would be like if you actually existed. I can't imagine the fights we'll have. It would have been cool to have someone to watch NBA with. It could have been your job to protect the younger sisters. You know, I tried my best on that department, I was so good, people assumed I was a lesbian. hahaha (some of them still do until now.)

Imagine the things we could have talked about. I know it would be mostly about girls and you would have teased me no end whenever I like a guy. I could have been your fashion consultant and you could have been mine.

I can imagine me getting jealous of your girlfriend who gets all your attention and I would make schemes for you to notice me. She, in turn, would try to get my vote. I would receive bribes from her and she would bring me shopping maybe.

Don't get me wrong, I love being the eldest among the siblings and have the responsibility of taking care of the younger ones but everytime I see a picture of a girl with a really sweet kuya (Landry Fields), I can't help but be jealous.

Landry Fields and his very, very lucky sister. (sweetest kind of kiss)

i want that hug too!!!

(Photos are from Landry's instagram)

What could it have felt like to be taken care of instead of being the one caring for? How would I have felt if my voice is not the most influential in the house? What kind of sibling rivalry could we have had? Would you look like dad or mom? Are you good in math and spelling? Are you athletic? Could you have taught me to play basketball and boxing? One thing's for sure though, you are a goofball. It runs in the family.

I will never know the answer to those questions because really, there's none. But you know what, God has been so good to me, He never let a season pass without sending me a kuya/brother figure. They've all been kind and sweet to me that the 'being taken care of' aspect is usually filled.

Anyway, I'm proud to say that I am a fairly good ate and kuya at the same time. Calling tough decisions a lot of times and shopping with them siblings. That is the way it's supposed to be. Who knows, maybe I'll find them a really good kuya someday *wink wink*.


Loving you in my dreams,


Yam :)

I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK!

Yes, I'm bringing it! Let the hunger games begin. May the odds be ever be in my favor.

this was me 13 pounds ago (circa 2010)

If I can't...paputian na lang ng kilikili!!! hahahaha

oh di ba? bwahahahaha

To give you an idea how much weight I gained, check this out:

Palau, what have you done to me????

See what I mean? So yeah, all of that happened in two years' time. And yes, I don't always buy clothes. Some clothes from high school and college are still in mint condition (until my youngest sister starts wearing them.hahaha).

There, I volunteer myself for district 13.