RANDOM: Missing the Days

I've been to my old blog site and I read a lot of my past posts. When I was in the Philippines, I travelled a lot. I have an out-of-town trip almost every month. With each trip comes a blog post. I remember the places, I remember the people...mostly, the people. I have been to lots of places and the most memorable ones are those with good company. That is one thing missing here in Palau. I am not saying that I never enjoyed the company of anyone here but it's just...different.

Here, people are always busy. Most people have work six days a week. I miss hanging out with friends on the weekends. Back home, even if you don't leave the house, as long as you're with friends, have good conversation, it's a moment worth blogging already. Now, it's really different. How I wish I could hang out again with friends and make good memories with just the simple things.

I love my friends here, don't get me wrong. I have a set of friends from the office, from badminton, and from church. However, with over one year of stay here, I could only count with the fingers of my two hands the times that I really cherish. I'll try to enumerate:

1. first road trip to babeldaob
2. trip to ngatpang
3. winning my first badminton tournament and going to seabird cruise to celebrate
4. playing dota with the boys and basically hanging out with ruben and kuya dan
5. bern's birthday
6. first fun dive
7. hanging out in the old airport one saturday afternoon with eds, bert, and laverne
8. long island swim with arsie, jane, and kuya frank
9. conversation with berns when i asked for advice regarding my career
10. celebrating my birthday with my church mates

Ok, so at least, all my fingers in my two hands would be counted. Then I realize, it's not too few after all. I still have to say my two trips to Ngemelis were equally memorable, the time when Kuya Roger randomly treated us to Nayong Pilipino, the time when we ate lunch three times, Friday nights with Jane, Manio, Mayshell, and Vani. I've already had lots of moments.

I guess I just took a lot of them for granted. There were some things in the list though that I purposely avoided because of things that I don't really want. I guess what I'm missing is the consistency of the persons involved. I miss having friends whom I could comfortably text when I feel the need to hang out and be available...and if that friend is a guy, I want the kind who is willing to hang out not because he likes me, but because it's just fun. Hayyy....should I just go back to the Philippines then?

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?

There's a movie with that title (starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake), just recently, there was also "No Strings Attached", and now there's a tv series with the same title. Why? How many times do we have to watch friends having sex and not committing into a relationship. Why are shows with that theme booming right now?

I can only think of one answer. Because yuppies and teenagers can relate to it. You get to feel the 'magic' and yet you would not be burdened by the commitment woes and responsibilities. Convenient, right?
So this is where the world has gone to. We talked too much about freedom that people only do what 'feels right' and not what is actually right. It's so sad really. I am saying this not to judge other people in that situation but because I know how it feels. I am one very commitment phobic person and how I wish I wasn't. I am afraid of the expectations, demands, and responsibilities that come with every relationship so I tried (and am still trying) my best to avoid those. It seems to be the norm now.

Marriage sounds like a burden now when it used to be the highlight in every person's life before. People don't try much to make the relationship work when the magic has faded off. It's now scary to be married.

Oh men, I'm starting to be so pessimistic and i'm already losing hope on humanity. All of a sudden, the future seems not so exciting anymore with so much decline in morality, I don't know if I would still want to have a child.