MOVIE: CASABLANCA

So, I've finally decided to watch classic movies. I really never bothered to before because I had a feeling that they would be boring. I mean, they don't have the technology then and people were too romantic those days.
I started with "Gone With the Wind" because it is such a classic, I've been hearing about it since college (I was too "cool" when I was in high school, the only classic I heard about was MTV Classic). I saw the book but never got to read it because I am not really a sucker for novels.
After I watched the movie, I realized that classic movies are not that bad, they are adorable. So I decided to watch an older one, Casablanca. This one is in black-and-white, much older than Gone With the Wind. And boy, am I surprised! There was never a dull moment in that movie. All the lines were carefully thought of, they are very witty and the story itself is amazing. It is clean and yet, you could feel for the characters.
I am now hooked. I might look for Audrey Hepburn's movies, Marilyn Monroe's and whoever I find. If only the movie writers now are as clever, we would not need to hear the actors swear to get our attention.

EVENT: End It Now! Abuse Awareness Walkathon

I just arrived from a walkathon. It is for a cause. All over the world, women and children are the common victims of abuse, usually from their partners or parents. This event is to announce that we are making a stand against these unacceptable practices. We had the Abuse Prevention Director of Palau as our guest speaker.

Just one caveat: this is a photo vomit post. Photos are not necessarily relevant to the cause :p

pink ribbon - registered

yes, paused for a pose. :)

i'm going the other way? yeah, i'm a rebel like that. hahaha

me and my friends with our END IT NOW shirt.

ballers 

We say NO to violence against women.

my walkathon buddy's shoe

another friend's shoe

mine :)

it's almost over and my ticket hasn't been picked yet

loser

i declared a holdup and got my friend's winning instead. :)

Overall, it was a fun event. Good friends are really swell, they make you win without a winning ticket. Thanks, Kuya Roger! I'm so going to the parlor later. :)

Random

First, I found Tiger Cub's  blog. She is the older daughter of the famous (or infamous) Tiger Mom. I don't know why but I feel inspired after reading about their story. It makes me wish for a tiger den environment when I was growing up too. I was pretty much on my own when I was growing up so I am not used to discipline and rules and all those stuff only to find out later on that the world is full of rules and I needed discipline to enjoy those rules. I still feel pretty good about myself though. I just feel that I could have been better in some things and my defense mechanism might not have been running away. I'm interested with the Tiger Mom's book though, I might buy it...after I'm done reading my three new books.

Speaking of new books, yes, I got three new books from Amazon.

I bought Isabel Gillies' "Happens Everyday" and " A Year and Six Seconds." When I get interested in a book, I usually buy two from the author.  I bought it because I want to have a break from all the "serious" books I've been reading, I want to read something that's light and with emotions because I really need to work on my being phlegmatic right now. I need to feel something. I am trying to educate myself. So, I'm going to try to read a story but I wanted to read the kind that happened in real life.

It's such a coincidence that I am interested in the tiger mom today and a couple of weeks ago, I bought "The Tiger's Wife." There must be something about the tiger women.

Grumpy

I don't know why but i noticed that i'm easily pissed lately. There are some things that I did not mind before but irritates me too much now. I could not possibly blame PMS because I've just gotten over that monthly thing.

Everything a person says now, if it is contrary to my opinion is simply annoying and my eyes would just roll even if I did not mean to. I could be so ticked even if I do not know what the real reason was. Maybe I'm just affected by stress and pressure.

I hate it. I shouldn't be affected. I shouldn't. So help me God.

THE RACE (a poem by D.H. Groberg)

photo: http://kotekkatokkotakworld.blogspot.com

"Even if godly people fall down seven times, they always get back up" (Proverbs 24:16).
"Quit! Give up! You're beaten!" They shout at me and plead,
"There's just too much against you now. This time you can't succeed!"
And as I start to hang my head in front of failure's face,
my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
And hope refills my weakened will as I recall that scene.
For just the thought of that short race rejuvenates my being.
A children's race - young boys, young men - how I remember well.
Excitement, sure! But also fear; it wasn't hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope; each thought to win the race.
Or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
And fathers watched from off the side, each cheering for his son.
And each boy hoped to show his dad that he would be the one.
The whistle blew and off they went! Young hearts and hope afire.
To win and be the hero there was each young boy's desire.
And one boy in particular whose dad was in the crowd,
was running near the lead and thought, "My dad will be so proud!"
But as they speeded down the field across a shallow dip,
the little boy who thought to win lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself his hands flew out to brace,
and mid the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
So down he fell, and within him hope; he couldn't win it now.
Embarrassed, sad, he only wished to disappear somehow.
But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face.
Which to the boy so clearly said: "Get up and win the race!"
He quickly rose, no damage done; behind a bit, that's all
and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
his mind went faster than his legs; he slipped and fell again!
He wished then he had quit before with only one disgrace.
"I'm hopeless as a runner now; I shouldn't try to race."
But in the laughing crowd he searched and found his father's face.
That steady look which said again: "Get up and win the race!"
So up he jumped to try again, ten yards behind the last.
"If I'm to gain those yards," he thought, "I've got to move real fast!"
Exerting everything he had he gained eight or ten,
but trying so hard to catch the lead he slipped and fell again!
Defeat! He lay there silently, a tear dropped from his eye.
"There's no sense running anymore; three strikes: I'm out! Why try?"
The will to rise had disappeared, all hope had fled away;
so far behind, so error prone; a loser all the way.
"I've lost, so what's the use," he thought. "I'll live with my disgrace."
But then he thought about his dad who soon he'd have to face.
"Get up," an echo sounded low, "Get up and take your place.
You were not meant for failure here. Get up and win the race.
With borrowed will, get up," it said, "you haven't lost at all.
For winning is no more than this: To rise each time you fall."
So up he rose to run once more, and with a new commit
he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn't quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he'd ever been,
still he gave it all he had and ran so as to win.
Three times he'd fallen, stumbling; three times he rose again;
to far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.
They cheered the winning runner as he crossed the line first place.
Head high, and proud and happy; no falling, no disgrace.
But when the fallen youngster crossed the line in last place,
the crowd gave him the greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud.
You would have thought he'd won the race to listen to that crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, "I didn't do so well."
"To me, you won," his father said. "You rose each time you fell."
And now when things seem dark and hard and difficult to face,
the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
"Quit! Give up! You're beaten!" They still shout in my face.
But another voice within me says: "GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!"

Hello Kitty marshmallow!

With a bit of chocolate surprise :)

My friend from Japan visited us here again and brought a some sweetness with him...literally and figuratively. Yeah, he gave us hello kitty marshmallows which is so cute (my first time, sssshhh!!!).

Hypocrites!

I clicked a side link in youtube for Kim Kardashian's wedding. I was just surprised with people. The video has more thumbs down than up and a lot more dissing in the comments section. People were saying that it wasn't news and all those blah blahs.

My opinion: they are all hypocrites. First, the video was uploaded by E! News. The E! channel is for celebrity gossip and stuff like that. Second, the title of the video is Inside Kim Kardashian's Wedding. Before you even click the link for the video, you know what you are going to see.

So stop acting like you are the most sensible person in the world and you don't have time for those nonsense because in reality, YOU WANTED TO WATCH IT. Nobody forced you to and the title is very clear. Stop being a hypocrite!

I've never watched Kim's shows because I am limiting my tv time to zero but her wedding is all over the internet so I looked. I can't say for sure if the wedding would last but at least for a day, let her celebrate her moment!

Successful!

Yes, I was able to sleep early last night. I was sound asleep before 11 pm. It's a good feeling, I am in a good mood at work today. I should do it regularly now. I should transform myself into a morning person. If that is even possible.

My next goal should be to wake up early enough to have some exercise in the morning. If would be able to do that, I would enroll myself to the gym. I'm not having my hopes high on that one but at least i have a goal. I need to fit in my maid-of-honor gown, you know!

I'm excited!

Trying to Sleep Early

Tomorrow is going to be a long day, I'm quite sure of that. My boss wants the first draft of the financial statements before the week ends. I got some more adjustments to make and emails to send. Then we will be having our first officers' meeting ever in the evening for my religious small group.

I have accomplished some things already for the high school reunion that I am organizing, happening in December. I am able to finish the t-shirt design. Yes, me. Design shirts. Sounds like an anomaly, I know, those words usually don't fit in one sentence and yet, it happened.

For the meeting tomorrow night, doable ideas should flow. As I can't think of anything right now, I am so thankful that I've been writing my thoughts the past few days. I don't really like too much meetings for organizations. I like simple plans then just execute all of them. Solve the problems as they come. Meetings are just a waste of time for me. So I hope we would not be needing much of those.

Anyway, like what I said, tomorrow is going to be a long day so I hope to sleep early tonight. How do I sleep early, be productive and enjoy at the same time? I loaded two youtube videos (Wongfu Weekends episodes 3 and 6) and since internet connection here in Palau is not that fast, I will be reading my book that I have neglected for so long, I still haven't finished reading it til now, "The Outliers". Hopefully, after 30 minutes, I have finished a chapter, I have brushed my teeth, and the videos are done loading. I'll watch them, then I sleep.  I'm crossing my fingers.

Everything Is Sinking In Now

This weekend I've realized that my plate is really full. Being the president of a religious organization means that something has to happen every week if you want the organization to grow. You can't procrastinate, and you can't not have plans.

Another big responsibility is the financial statements. How i wish the former CFO would reply regarding my inquiries. My heart just beats faster every time I remember the audit. If only she would reply. Making the financial statements is not that hard, really. It's those little things and the pressures and expectations from bosses that's making me scared.

Then I remember that before any of those things enumerated above happened, I accepted the responsibility of organizing our high school reunion in December. I have to make plans and be creative so that more people would be interested in joining.

And now, I'm a bit sick. I hope I get better soon.

the verse that keeps me going

SCARED

I haven't blogged for a while. I just really had the urge to express something. I feel like I have overwhelming responsibilities now. I always had them but this time it feels different. Maybe because I take them more seriously now. How I wish I could just get them over with. I want to escape, I want to quit. This is making me realize how weak I am...how much of a coward I am...despite other people's perception of me.

I'm feeling pretty scared. I need someone to help me, guide me, and just carry the burden with me. It is during these times that I am so thankful that I believe in God. Somehow, knowing that someone greater than you is watching over gives comfort. I've been having strange dreams lately and I'm having urges to scream.

Lord, help me. I feel so weak.

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?

There's a movie with that title (starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake), just recently, there was also "No Strings Attached", and now there's a tv series with the same title. Why? How many times do we have to watch friends having sex and not committing into a relationship. Why are shows with that theme booming right now?

I can only think of one answer. Because yuppies and teenagers can relate to it. You get to feel the 'magic' and yet you would not be burdened by the commitment woes and responsibilities. Convenient, right?
So this is where the world has gone to. We talked too much about freedom that people only do what 'feels right' and not what is actually right. It's so sad really. I am saying this not to judge other people in that situation but because I know how it feels. I am one very commitment phobic person and how I wish I wasn't. I am afraid of the expectations, demands, and responsibilities that come with every relationship so I tried (and am still trying) my best to avoid those. It seems to be the norm now.

Marriage sounds like a burden now when it used to be the highlight in every person's life before. People don't try much to make the relationship work when the magic has faded off. It's now scary to be married.

Oh men, I'm starting to be so pessimistic and i'm already losing hope on humanity. All of a sudden, the future seems not so exciting anymore with so much decline in morality, I don't know if I would still want to have a child.

Celebrate! (I Was Supposed To)

At exactly 4 weeks from now, I would be celebrating my 27th birthday. I am not really that much of a birthday-celebrator but I want to do something for a change. Besides, I'm pretty excited about turning 27. I feel like I'm more grown up now...hahaha...yeah, I'm retarded like that. In three years time, I would be in my 30's already and I am excited to be there. I know it's weird but I make my life interesting so I can't wait to know what kind of life I have in three years.

Anyway, I wasn't able to go out because of the heavy rain and i don't have a car (loser). Times like these make me want to buy a car but on other days, I'm so thankful that I don't have one. I wanted to go to a resto where there is not much people, I was planning to bring my journal and have a quiet time alone and meditate and evaluate my life in the past years. I was supposed to make plans and know what I want to accomplish this year. But the rain did not allow me. I just had the next best thing...miso soup, apple, and chips...not really the next best thing but it's still good nonetheless. I hope I would still be in the mood to do it next Wednesday.

I really miss my self-pampering time. I realized that I haven't done it in a while.

I went to Ngemelis Island for an overnight trip. It was fun. My camera broke though :( good thing, it broke after all the good shots were taken. Ordered another one this morning. I am not used to not having a camera anymore. I want everything documented.

STAY AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER

From the 29 Ways to Be Creative

#4. Get away from computer.

This is so true. When I am doing something else, a lot of thoughts flow effortlessly, I feel like I would never forget them. I say to myself, "I'll put that in my blog later." However, after a few moments and I am in front of my laptop, I could not remember a single thing that I would blog about, or even if I do, the sequence of thoughts just don't make sense. It's annoying.

#2. Carry a notebook everywhere.

This is the solution to the problem I have stated above. Bring a notebook. Jot down every single thought. But I'm too stubborn. Yes, I have a notebook with me every time but I don't always use it. 

#14. Don't give up.

I guess this is what I should work on. NEVER GIVE UP. I may be stupid now and my posts may be very boring and nonsense but hey, who knows, I might improve one of these days. 

Another Celebrity Victim

Yes, I used the word victim. I am talking about Ron Artest. Apparently, he is sexting a girl and he sent the photo...and it leaked to the internet.

Two things.

1.) In this day and age, everything recorded can be shared. The probability that it will be shared is directly related to how a.) fun b.) touching c.)cute d.) obscene e.) gross the material is. Oh! another thing, how FAMOUS the main character is. Character in the medium is famous plus any other element I have enumerated above, perfect recipe for owning the internet.

2.) Most celebrities have good physique. One of the reasons why they are looked up to because not a lot of people could maintain that. Problem is, humans tend to be so conceited...even ugly people. The conceit level grows exponentially with the level of being good looking plus insecurity. Yes, the more insecure a person is, the more conceited they become. The more conceited (or horny) they are, the more pictures.

And now, Ron Artest seem to have fallen prey to his lustful desires as well. That's too bad because I actually like him.

Ok, I've been distracted several times while doing this blog, this almost doesn't make sense. I think I'll just post some pictures then...of books!

wholesome picture.hahaha